Few moment ago, one man stood in the front of me asserted, ” As I go older, more that I realize how pragmatic I become” This man was at his 45th of age.
The other day, a man sat next to me, said subtly “Well mate few things I need to tell you, at my age right now I am aware of how much more anxious I could be, and a driver inside of me want to control and to be in authority spot” This man just celebrated his 57th birthday a year ago.
So I said to myself, what kind of behavior I am about to have by the time I reach their age? I am 29 right now, I could identify with some statements those two gentleman said to me. Whether it is about spiritual, patience, maturity, relationship, lust, financial management, I have some lacks and traits in those areas.
But more and more I come to throne of the Lord Jesus, more and more how I see myself that I cannot control all those depravity in my soul and body. It is beyond help, sounds hopeless isn’t ?
Lord Jesus reveals something unprecedentedly new to me, He shows how pathetic my sinful nature is, how astray it is and beyond any help, and every filth come in one package.
Initially, I was so overwhelmed by those until Holy Spirit gently reminded me a moment when I felt so spiritual, without filth, professing to the world in boasting way saying “I have made my path clean and clear before you My Lord!”
PRAISE THE LORD! I would rather come to the Lord and have all my filthy exposed before him, than become so wise and feel nothing before Him, and yet forgot how deceitful this sinful nature is in my body an soul.
If I could ask one things as I am getting older later on, I want to ask Jesus to have me dive in this sinful nature and bring all of those with pain and shame before Him, and ask Him to wash my soul with the Hyssop. I want to ask Him for me to be aware that without Him I can do NOTHING to this sinful nature, and to ask Him not to naively say to The Lord “How long must I struggle with this” but instead to say
“Thank you Lord that your strength made perfect in my weakness”
I didn’t know initially but like Ashap in Psalm 73, he said how savage beast he was before the Lord until he was helped by the Lord’s counsel and then finally know that God is his portion forever.
Is he still the savage beast? I believe he is, but God leads Him through His counsel,
He is still beast, BUT he is the counseled beast, he is the Man who live with God in (still) Divine Depravity which leads him to God always and always.