Fragile..

March 30, 2013

11:35

I was sitting on the lounge room of my parents house, when I heard noise in TV today about one guy was looking for venomous vipers in the middle of nowhere. I then switched the channel to History channel, and they have one program about Jesus and how his Divinity transcended beyond people’s consciousness when went up to the mountain and transfiguration happened to Him.

11:45

It was nearly end when I switched to that channel  and then I switched again and I saw the documentary movie about “Assassination of John F.Kennedy” from the eyewitness account of the president secret service agents or the presidents details who were there when the assassination happened. They honestly said about whatever they felt when that happened, when he saw the bullet punctured their “beloved” ( they didn’t just protect him, they love him, because, of one of the guard said the president knew him by name) president’s head. They were so devastated because of the fact that, they said, they were supposed to know, to let not that happened , but they failed. One of them isolated himself from the world and even from his fellow agents, one of them went to psychiatrist , and the other one was trying to stand by his won feet to fight and to move on.

I was so devastated, when one of them talked on TV about the gruesome of how bad was the head injury the president had, and when Mrs Kennedy was there and couldn’t do anything. I was so suffocated in grieves and fear, and rejection state of my soul, on why should this happen? Then it even worse when I watch the video of the shooting in slow motion in web, few minutes after the documentary movie ended.

March 27, 2013

06:30

I was praying to the Lord beg for wisdom and courage  to withstand oppositions and temptations to come. I asked “Lord Jesus give me courage, and love and wisdom to do your will, to be humble, I am so arrogant Lord, even when I tried it hard not to be.”

March 28, 2013

16:35

I was confronted by few people because of what I believe is true. I stood ground and had many reasons to defend my cause, as I walking away with conviction, my mind was engulfed by doubt and fear, have I hurt somebody? I kept on walking, I said to the Lord “Is this wrong My Lord?”

Then I preached in the youth service on the importance of faith and conviction to stand ground, even to be ready to lose friend when you believe on something.

19:00

Somebody reminded me that a lot of people are praying for me and remember my face in their prayer.

March 29, 2013

17:00

I was singing on choir on the Catholic Church at my town on Good Friday in the evening. I was moved to tears on Song whose lyric said “Jesus why did you bear the cross to Golgota?”

22:00

I prayed again when I get home, “Lord strengthen me, humble me, is this wrong what I am doing?”

03:00

I played games, I yelled, frustrated, and then felt asleep..

March 30, 2013

I watch the documentary of the assassination of JFK, I watch the Shooting video, I was devastated, and broke down.

I prayed to the Lord ” Helped me Lord, what is this? How can I speak the truth and was so devastated by this?”

 

He said softly “Have a rest son, you are tired, I heard you.. I love you”

I just finished writing this… I believe Jesus said to me

” Have a rest you are fragile, but I am not, and I’ve heard you”

“When I see the frogs leaping in the rain avoiding the car tire, when I see the Sun rise and set again and stars painting the dark velvet dusk in the sky, who am I my Lord that you are mindful of me, human being that you care?”

Psalm 8: 3-4

Happy Easter..

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