Have you ever been in a place where you are so thirsty about something you’ ve been longing, so long.. ?You’ve been praying for it, so long.. and around the same time you are haunted by sins or inadvertently flaw in past, to which cause you think that may be you gain nothing, because all those past you did? But grasping even to that is not possible?
Interestingly enough as I want to dive deeply into what it means to honor God, the question is as complex as it was when I didn’t put my utmost being about serving God.
Once upon a time I was waiting a sign from God whether to move forward or backward in relationship toward a young Lady. I said in one fine day, “God gives me sign, unusual sign”.. Then as I was waiting to not to move nor withdraw, I got a sign, unusual sign, then without think ing I moved forward, I started to imagine how awesome it would be, as God gave me sign, a sign… I imagined she would be my wife, and God would be in the midst of all this, this exciting, lovely, romantic, affections-filled odor of imagination, and then I realized .. it was merely obsession.
When then things were not as enchanting as I expected but turned into pseudo ornamented obsession driven, then I saw no God in the midst of it. Really sad.
David in Psalm 27 :14 said , Wait in the Lord, be strong and take heart.. I would guess that David must have been enduring such a painstaking journey of hardship in waiting, so afterward he could remark that verse.
For most of the people waiting is not comfortable place to be. Waiting is holding everything you have inside you to grab, to see to listen, to walk ,to think ,to feel on something before you eyes, or something that never return, or never turn up.
One still on wondering, as I put above, have all my sins become a hindrance for my request before the Lord to be granted? Maybe Yes, I don’t have exact answer for that, but what I believe is that “Waiting” is a matter of ” Relationship with the Almighty”. Relationship with the Lord is beyond, False or True, Bad or Good, Justice and Injustice, and ultimately beyond Action and Consequences. When I said beyond, it doesn’t mean that I decimated the meaning of Mistake and Consequences in our life and all of thus, but the relationship will determine how we are going about with those things in our life, in the hill or in the slope. Which will be different from one to another individually.
One senior Church leader in Indonesia put it this way ” I can’t explain the Trinitarian to other people before they can experience it themselves”. Trinitarian is not merely Doctrine it is life changing experience, which he is actually emphasizing it is the Work of God that works in men proceeding after we plant the seed or preceding, never know. What we know is we keep doing the work, and God be with us.
Waiting in the Lord is experience of lovely relationship with Him, it may be we will still be impatient, confuse, or obsessed but still.. we are waiting in Him, so we don’t go further to something outside Him..
So keep on waiting in Him, he will show you something more than waiting for you in the midst of your waiting 🙂