One day I was asked to help leading a group of about 10 or more Young people, I just couldn’t remember exactly when it was. I worked as team leader with some other assistants helping me out and planning along the ways. It turned out that some these bunch of young people were actually living through challenging upbringing. Some others were brilliant young people, and looks lot maturer from their age, physically.
One of the assistants was, a bright, music talented, strong built, and funny young man, one particular young man with helpful behavior was so attached to him, and the other one with challenging behavior, was also attached to him closely. One keep on wondering, why all those two were so drawn to him easily, in no time. Meanwhile as I kept on working out the structure and keeping my heads up to many things to come, found it so difficult to connect with some particular young people. I was thinking, my goodness, were they too afraid of me or something was wrong with me? I was, then looking for acceptances, which shamefully in few ways, was awkward and uncomfortable. In meeting, I showed and shared how difficult it was to connect with young people, and forgot to make affirmations of the works that had been going, or without any appraisal try to generate a sole perspective and asked others to be dive on it, based on so called rejection I felt, not what I observed.
Steven Covey in his book “7 Habits of Effective People” wrote that all if not most of the people were born in what he called as “Script”. This script is not always helpful things as we are growing up, mostly were formed in our first 4 of 5 years of our life. One of the results of living this script out in our life is the lack of awareness of others, the diminishing appreciations, mistrust, character killing (in leadership), authoritarian, easily offended, mistrust and the simplest form of it Envy.
The question regarding to that matter is ” When was the last time you sit with somebody look to his/her eyes and say how much you appreciate their contribution”. In other case have you been wholeheartedly praise your mate or competitors or friends succeed? or with you subordinate to confess your mistake or misjudgment? to forgive and ask forgiveness. To listen and love them, carefully, personally and professionally
I recounted my life little bit back, I remember how I have strong Authority Issues, always be critical, comparing myself with others, and, I hate to say this, rejoicing on someone’s mistakes. The sad thing is this is how the world around us work, if you succeed people may praise you, or will seek another day to overlap you, if you failed you will be kicked out or soon forgotten.
In leadership, to recognize our own traits and skills and then dong so with our mates, is important. ” Simon P Walker in “Leading out of Who you are” said that the concept that make a leader is somebody who is making sure that all gift, talents and skills of her team mate or subordinates grow and well established. She doesn’t need to have all perfect multi-talented genius in her desk, but she will have capable and competent people and make sure their skills and gifts are recognized and growing along the way. All people have their own stories, that’s including our subordinates, and they need to write it in their life. Extreme controlling, characters killing and authoritarianism may not enable thus to happen. Paraphrased from Poatinian Morning Tea Devotion, Matt Garvin
My mate Matty in Tassie, in his devotional session said The goal of the leader must be not only to develop skills in others but to enable others to be willing to lay down their skills. It means for me that I need to let others appreciate the gifts, the traits of others as well, and then as time is going, to let go the roles we have and enables others, together to do the same thing. It doesn’t mean that we let go people off to whatever they want to go, but to make sure the Culture of Understanding and appreciation in work place is well sustained. In this case, I believe, when there is force in endanger the culture, it is time for leader to keep the course, and make sure challenging behavior is anticipated. Lastly to kick out the perpetuate force which will endanger the structure.
It is the Shepherd job to tend the flock, but also his life duty to drive out the wolf pack along the ways. Stephen Covey wrote that somebody,as he learn, and learn more, in the leadership he is to be “Not easily offended but also courageously to confront and.. listen”
I ‘ve made lot of mistakes in leaderships, since primary school, but that will be enormous treasures and irreplaceable experiences, to learn and understand “What does it mean to be human being? What does it mean to recognize and appreciate the differences, what does it mean to see People at their best and encourage them, what does it means to manage my own feeling around those things.” What does it mean to have spiritual life with the creator and ask him to lead me with others.
Well not always an easy thing to do, but worthwhile to stop and reflect upon.